Tips for appointing a Guardian for your minor children

One thing many people struggle with when putting a Will in place is determining who to appoint as the guardian of their minor children, if something happens to them. Often people put the decision in the too hard basket, but with a little thought and guidance there are ways to navigate this conundrum so that you comfortably appoint someone who you feel is the best fit for the very important role of taking care of your children.

Someone Your Children Know

It’s important to appoint someone that your children know well and have a fantastic relationship with. Placing them in an environment with someone they have a strong relationship with will provide them with comfort and ongoing security. You only need to think of the anguish they will feel, no longer having you in their life – their sense of loss and despair. You want to make things gentle and supportive for them as they navigate their new world without you. If your children are loving school, have strong and closely connected friendship groups and a wonderful sense of community around them, would sending them to the other side of the country where your sister resides so she can care for them and raise them as their guardian really be the right thing to do? Or would they be better of remaining in the community where they feel connected and supported so they can continue to thrive?

You don’t have to choose a family member

Often people feel inclined to appoint a family member to be their children’s guardian. You shouldn’t be inclined to feel this way. It’s an important role and you should consider the most appropriate person to undertake this role, and this may not necessarily be a family member. I have clients who elect not to appoint siblings as their children’s guardian because their values are not aligned and they have chosen a guardian whose values aligned with their own.

Consider the Living Arrangements

When choosing a guardian for your children it is important to consider the family structure and living arrangements of the person you are considering appointing as your children’s guardian. If they have five children and live in a four bedroom house and you have four children, is this really going to be the right fit for your children and the proposed guardian’s family unit? Can they extend their current family home or purchase a new home to accommodate all the children? Crucially, will taking on the care of your children change the family dynamic, which may mean it is no longer the best environment for your children to be raised in?

 Involve older children

You may wish to give consideration to involving your older children in the process of selecting who their guardian will be if something happened to you. It can be scary for children of any age to have such a conversation, as it will be difficult for them to comprehend a life in which you are no longer here. This is also an opportunity for your children to tell you their thoughts about who they would like to care for them, if you were no longer here. By having these discussions with your children, they will have security knowing who would care for them if you were no longer around.

Have the Chat

No one likes unexpected surprises, so before appointing someone as the guardian of your children you should have a deep and meaningful chat with them and ask if they would be happy for you to appoint them as their children’s guardian. Ask them if they understand the implications of looking after your children, discuss their living arrangements and foreseeable implications, in respect to them taking on the role and how it would impact their lives.  Chat with them about traditions and rituals that you would like your children to continue, and expectations about ongoing relationships with your children’s family members and friends. These are discussions that all both parties need to have, to fully understand the role of guardian, and fully comprehend each other’s expectations. These discussions may determine that they are not the right guardian for your children and that is okay because at least you can now make an informed decision in respect to that and look to people who may be more suited to the role of your children’s guardian.

By appointing someone as your children’s guardian will give you peace of mind that they will be taken care of when you are no longer here, that they will be cared for by the people that you appointed to assist and support them on their life journey, so that they may thrive.